Mission dormitories separated boys and girls; the children fished, hunted, ate, bathed, slept and collected wood and water separately. Traditionally, their family and marriage regulated relationships between the sexes. Relationships defined by difference and rigid separation could nonetheless be intimate. Jean George grew up on the Mission at Aurukun but returned to her father’s country and the Weipa Mission when she married. Hers was a traditional marriage, which brought Jean into the heart of her extended family.
Jean’s husband was injured at Thursday Island during the war and was partially incapacitated. Both her husband’s brothers lost their wives, so they shared food with her family. But her brothers-in-law would never speak to Jean.
And he [my brother-in-law] was a real good hunting man, good hunting man. Go and get fishes for me, and especially big barra, so lovely. And dig wild yams for me, and I have wild yams, he cook it and bring it cooked one for me. He really good, he fed me a lot with different things.[12]
The relationship between food and love is seen here in both a general story of family and community and a personal relationship between two people. Within the boundaries of defined relationships, exchanges of food allowed people to express deep love and affection.
Like our customs, our in-laws they don’t talk to us … he talk to Annie, say ‘Take it and share it with mum’. Or sometimes he cook it in the bush and bring cooked one, fish or yam, he wrap it, tie it up with grape-vine, all the yams. And then he shoot birds; geese or brolga, ducks, he bring them, even the inside part, he clean it and cook it and bring it cooked.[13]
It is a gift direct from her brother-in-law to Jean that gives her so much pleasure. ‘After his wife die, he give everything to me. And I really enjoyed it!’ ‘He was really good looking after me … The other brother too, his wife died. So we were looking after them all, the two brothers and my husband.’[14]
Although both Aboriginal ‘bora’ tradition and missionary rules controlled sexual relations, the missionaries’ ideas of appropriate relationships for young women differed greatly from that of the elders. Conflict resulted from the white men’s abhorrence of marriages between young women and men who were much older and/or had other wives. The vehement anti-sexual attitude of missionaries meant that relations between male and female were deeply associated with sex and wrong-doing. At Old Mapoon the separation of the sexes was given a powerful symbol in the almond and other trees that were planted there. These were designated as girls’ and boys’ trees. It is said that the girls’ fruit was always sweeter, a knowledge which reveals illicit comparison.
The segregation of the sexes affected adult relationships. Punishments for ‘talking to girls’, as well as being psychologically damaging, created a charged atmosphere around communication between the sexes. Women were largely absent from working environments with cattle, on boats and in mining camps. Sailors’ folklore warned against female presence on boats as ‘unlucky’ and accidents were often blamed on men having keepsakes from their girlfriends.[15] The culture of men’s work romanticised loneliness and the longings of solitude, in the images of cowboys, sailors and bushmen.