In the foregoing sections, I have attempted to draw out the main features of Palokhi Karen kinship and the symbolic aspects of marriage as well as to show how these are linked together. The discussion would not be complete, however, without a consideration of divorce and remarriage, both of which have occurred in Palokhi, although not frequently.

Divorce, which is termed “to throw away mutually” (cu khi’ lau sa’), may occur for a variety of reasons. These include infidelity and adultery (which has happened, despite the fact that this is said to give offence to the Water, Lord of the Land), dissatisfaction with a spouse’s handling of marital responsibilities, and a desire for children not possible to fulfil because of a spouse’s presumed barrenness or sterility. As with “crooked marriages”, the Palokhi Karen believe that adultery results in sanctions imposed by the Lord of the Water, Lord of the Land and, consequently, an important feature where adultery has been committed is the expiatory rite performed for the Lord of the Water, Lord of the Land, as discussed before. For this rite, a pig must be supplied by the persons party to adultery. Divorce, if it is sought, in the case of adultery is called “to throw away the husband” (cu khi’ ‘a’ wa) or “to throw away the wife” (cu khi’ ‘a’ ma), depending on who is guilty of infidelity. In circumstances where divorce is desired by mutual consent, there is, however, no need to perform the expiatory rite. Divorces in either case are effected by a version of ‘au’ ma xae which is called “to finish eating the pig, to finish eating the chicken” (‘au’ lau thu’ thau’, ‘au’ lau thu’ chau) which, of course, refers to the kho thi’ animals reared for ‘au’ ma xae. Unlike “big” ‘au’ ma xae, where four nights are required for the performance of the ritual, this requires only two nights. When the couple have decided when they wish to perform the ritual, they have to sell off all but the oldest ‘au’ ma xae pigs and chickens so that they do, in fact, eat the last pig and chicken. All other pigs and poultry may be shared out between the two, or sold off and the proceeds divided between them.^[24] This also applies to buffaloes and rice in the barn.

When all this is done, and it has to be done before the ritual, then the couple may conduct the ‘au’ ma xae which dissolves their marriage. On the first day, the last chicken is killed and served in the same way as that for ordinary ‘au’ ma xae. Before they eat, both the husband and wife take out pieces of the kho thi’ and wrap these up in banana leaves, with some rice. As they do so, they pray to the souls of their respective parents (if they are deceased) informing them that this is the last meal that they will eat together as it is the last kho thi’ chicken. This done, they shove the wrappings through the floor of the house and eat the food in the tray. If their parents are alive, however, they attend this ritual and they, instead of the couple, will then say the prayers to their deceased parents’ souls. The eating of the last kho thi’ is done in the same manner as that in ordinary ‘au’ ma xae, that is, the husband eats first, followed by the wife, and then their children according to birth order. The eating of the last pig is also carried out in the same fashion. When this is completed, the wooden eating tray, cooking pots, the bamboo spoons for stirring rice and stews, the bamboo water vessels, and the three hearth stones are all thrown away in the bush outside the village. For one day, after the eating of the last kho thi’, the couple must not do any work, and on the following day the man leaves the village.

There can be no doubt that these cooking utensils stand, symbolically, for the domestic household. This symbolism is by no means confined to the Palokhi Karen. Although it has not been reported in the contemporary ethnography of the Karen, Marshall (1922:260) has observed, however, that Karen families in Burma who renounce their traditional religion and ‘au’ ma xae in favour of Christianity, throw away these utensils.^[25] This alone suggests a symbolic link between household cooking utensils, the marital tie and the domestic group, as well as the traditional religion of the Karen. The practice of disposing these utensils in the context of the last ‘au’ ma xae which dissolves a marital union, however, is indisputable evidence that the three are inextricably linked.

When the ritual is completed, the children of the couple are given the choice of remaining with their mother or accompanying their father. Whichever the choice they make, they may not, thereafter, have anything to do with the parent they did not elect to be with which, in practical terms, means that they do not sleep in the house of that parent. For children in such situations, any ‘au’ ma xae performed for them will be by the parent they have chosen to live with. When they eventually marry, however, they do call upon the souls of both parents in the ‘au’ ma xae they conduct if both parents are dead. Otherwise, the parent with whom they chose to live with would, of course, attend the ritual in person. It is well worth noting in this connection that children are given a choice as to which parent they wish to live with following the divorce. Although a variety of factors may operate to influence the choice, it is significant that in theory there is a choice. It is a reflection of an ethos of individual autonomy here extended to children.